Jokes

If your problems make you cry
You may take SSRI.

SSRI – selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. (e.g., Zoloft)

...

When I was a small boy, each time I saw a cute living thing, I tried to catch it and take it home. Years passed, and I am still the same, but I cannot afford it now, because once I took one home, she did not let me do it with the others.  

...

Caffeine's lethal dose is about 10 grams. One cup of coffee contains about 0.1 grams of caffeine.
So, you may have 98 cups more. 

...

The worst invention of humankind is the telephone. The best invention is the restriction order. 

...

A boy has been waiting by the elevator for a long time. The security guard is worried about the safety of the young boy. "Are you O.K?' " the guard asks the boy. "I'm just waiting for my gum to come back."...

Two Goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "How do you drive this thing?"...

Q. How do you turn a -Duck,  into a Soul singer?
A. You hold his face in boiling water until it's...Bill Withers!
...

Joy is a character in two of my books in the Suddenly Free series. She roasts her husband at a birthday party:

“George has been adventure to live with. I didn’t know it was going to happen, but George has been like appliances and other handy items that many wives possess, but they aren’t better than my George. For example:

“George is like a mascara—he makes me look good, but runs when I cry.” She looked down at him. He smiled back.

“George is like a copier—he’s been great at reproduction”. His adult children pushed and whacked each other. Someone hooted. George just applauded toward Joy, and raised his eyebrows.

“George is like a place mat. He shows up promptly when there's food on the table.

“George is like a pair of stiletto high heels—they look great on me,” Joy looked at him and winked, “and are very handy in an emergency.

“George is also like a curling iron—always hot and always in my hair.” She looked at Rev. Dunwoody, and said apologetically, with a shrug. “We’re married.”

“George is like coffee—the best ones are rich, warm, strong, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night. And he IS the best!”

...

Peter was walking near the gates of hell one morning. Lucifer noticed him and asked, "What the hell are you doing here?"...

If a parsley farmer is sued - can they garnish his wages?...
Book Of The Day
Publishers

Latest Poem

GIFTS


Things that make you

Stop and smile

Focus and pause

A little while


What captures your eye

And makes you look

What grabs your soul

And sets the hook


Passions we have

We can’t ignore

To what we’re driven

We must explore


Chef in the kitchen

Begins to cook

Feels like the bishop

That got the rook


A builder steps back

Admires the house

Proud as a cat

That caught the mouse


The musician plays

And performs the song

To which the crowds

Sing along


We all have gifts

It’s only fair

They benefit others

And we must share


Some are inherent

Others unique

Most take work

To hone technique


We live our lives

The way we must

It’s vital our compass

Collects no dust


View More Poems Read More
Get a wordpress CMS website for $450 only.
50% discount for members.
We design author’s websites with a control panel where authors can upload pictures & Videos. You can post articles and engage on discussions with your readers. We also provide you with options for posting news and events by your own and also you can update the content of the website by your own and you can send newsletters to your readers.
Actual price of the website development is $900. But you pay only $450.

Latest Book Trailers View More trailors

Powered by Crystalline Noble